getting hitched

The journey from Chennai to Melbourne is a long one. While most people find it dreadfully dull to travel alone, I personally look forward to it. The solitude of one's own thoughts is hard to come by and what better place to garner it than on long flights and busy airports where there is no compulsive obligation to converse.

Well, slight change of plans this time, a friend's mum who is travelling alone, is to join me...a sweet elderly lady who speaks only Tamil. The language barrier should douse any possibility of small talk...well, at least that's what I thought. But the idea of an Indian girl travelling alone always seems to spark an annoying curiosity in most people...it wasn't too long before I faced the usual barrage, 'Are you married?', 'Oh...how old are you?', 'Ohhhhh...when will you get married?'...all in a jumble of Tamil, English and hand gestures. While I usually conjure up a certain rude hand gesture in my mind for such remarks, I can't help but smile at the lady's genuine consternation on my 'still single' status. If only we spoke a common language she would probably have advised me over the next fourteen hours and then topped it off with tips on how to find a groom...thank heavens for linguistic barriers.

Well, I've given up trying to explain that people like me should stay single...otherwise the world might explode. Even so, the groom hunting/match making techniques that get thrown at you are quite amusing.

The one I have come across the most is to deck up on Sunday and go to church. What better place to hook a boy than at a religious venue. Or better still, join the church choir...that way one would be in plain sight of the entire congregation...there's bound to be at least one sucker who would fall for you..now isn't that a foolproof idea...

I had a work friend who once extended an invitation to a Friday evening dinner with a group of her friends. While I certainly didn't doubt the genuineness of the invitation, I was a a bit wary about being asked to spent an evening with a bunch of ladies who were not exactly in my age group. As it turns out, some of them had eligible bachelor sons and I was essentially being invited to a 'potential daughter-in-law inspection' (or whatever it's called) massacre!

While most parents are still grappling with finding their way around matrimony websites...there are some who go a step further. Came across the interview of an elderly couple on television some time back. I reckoned they might be the parents of some big star...but that didn't explain why they kept flashing the picture of a large, balding guy at regular intervals. Turns out, it was some kind of a 'showcase your eligible bachelor son' show... interested parents of eligible daughters are requested to get in touch with the family. Jeez..for cryin out loud.

While some of the stuff I have heard over the years are actually workable, occasionally one does come across suggestions that make one's eyes pop out. The latest one that I heard was to hit university alumni websites...look for eligible bachelors and hunt them down. Everyone knows that if the guy studied at a good uni, he's bound to be good husband material....WHATEVER!!!

'Being single is pretty good. It's a nice sense of irresponsibility' - Michael Douglas